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The Hero and His Elf Bride Open a Pizza Parlor in Another World.

The Hero and His Elf Bride Open a Pizza Parlor in Another World

This review is sort of a test to see how I might review light novels in the future, as some of my favourite series are Japanese Light Novels (Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear and Dragon and Ceremony). This series only has the one volume, meaning I get the full series reviewing experience. Also, if you have questions about the lengthiness of the title just note that this is a trope of Isekai genre (stories in which the main character is 'reborn' in another world, usually a western fantasy world) and fear the day I start reviewing "I've Been Killing Slimes for 300 Years and Maxed Out My Level" or its 2 spin-offs whose titles are even longer.

Kaito wakes up in a castle in the sky after being hit by a pizza delivery moped which he walked in front of as he was delirious from starvation. He spots a goddess who informs him that he is dead and he is to go to another world as hero and save that other world. She continues, not allowing him any time to process the information she gives, revealing the 3 options he can become: Holy Rose Knight, Thunder Wizard and High-Calorie Hero. Kaito takes too long deciding, so option 1 and 2 get taken, so he is left with the High-Calorie Hero option and is handed an item bag that contains an apron and the key ingredients for a Pizza. He is then sent the other world.

Kaito wakes up in a grassy field and is surprised when a group of elves call out to him. Their leader, Edmond, introduces himself and Kaito introduces himself as "the itinerant Destiny Seeker, the Étoile Filante Kaito", but cringes so hard at that name that he requests them just call him Kaito. Edmond takes Kaito back to his home, where a feast will be prepared for his arrival. Edmonds house has shop built next to it, which has a pizza oven that is ready to go, as Kaito is going to save this world with Pizza.
After Kaito has settled in his room, Edmond’s daughter Lilia, enters his room to take to the party set up in his honour. There Kaito truly realises the elves' plight as they only serve him vegetables and some ham-like meat that is as filling as the vegetables themselves. Kaito is now determined to show these emancipated elves what true filling food is like - e.g: pizza.

Kaito wakes up the next morning feeling hungry and the breakfast provided does little to satisfy his hunger. He begins to make pizza and starts by examining the contents of his item bag provided by the goddess. All it contains are cards with the names of ingredients needed to make pizza dough, equipment to make pizza and skill cards which educate him on how to make pizza. If you say the name on the card, then that item will appear or you will gain that skill. Just before he can start, Lilia enters with intention to help as that is a wife’s duty, but Kaito dismisses her so she doesn’t get in the way. Being rejected by her husband causes Lilia to cry and Kaito gets her stop by getting her to help make the pizza. Kaito begins with a brief history of pizza, which bores Lilia so they begin making the dough. The kneading of the dough tires him, so Lilia volunteers to take over and once Kaito has taught her the correct technique, so starts to get the hang of it. Towards the end of the dough-making process, the allure of food becomes too much for Lilia and she stops kneading and starts drooling, but Kaito is quick to set her straight again. Lilia finishes the kneading without any more trouble, so Kaito and start shaping the dough to help gas build up inside before covering it and leaving it to ferment for a few hours.

As the dough ferments, Kaito prepares the oven and once that is completed Fiona, the Edmond's wife, enters with some lunch for Kaito and Lilia. It is vegetable sandwiches, so Kaito asks Lilia why the elves are eating so much vegetables. Lilia explains that their queen believes eating lots of fruit and vegetables leads to a beautiful body as well as the inland location requiring the import of richer foods: fish, meat, wheat, etc.
2 hours later, both the oven and the dough are ready, so Kaito prepares to make pizza but realises he has no ingredients. He checks his item bag and draws some more cards out and call the names on them to summon the ingredients. This shocks Lilia, who assumes that Kaito can do high-level magic, which he uses as the explanation for the cards. Lilia is curious about the mozzarella and Kaito allows her to have a bite, so she has about 1/3 of the mozzarella. Kaito prises the cheese away and gets Lilia to gently smack the counter-tops with the peels to keep her and her hands busy - can't eat ingredients while your hands are full of peels. Kaito makes 4 bases, covers them with tomato sauce and sprinkles mozzarella. He notices he is missing 1 ingredient, basil, of which he doesn't have the card for. Lilia shows Kaito to the family's herb garden, where his knowledge of basil (acquired from pizza skill 1) allows him to find this world's equivalent - Parjee. Kaito adds the Parjee to the pizzas and cooks them before handing Lilia a slice to taste. Like th mozzarella on the pizza, Lilia melts into an euphoric bliss of deliciousness, which Kaito confirms himself when he tastes it himself. Kaito takes the pizzas to a feast the elves are having and it goes down a treat, so Kaito announces he is opening a pizza parlor.

Kaito wakes up the next morning sore and when this is mentioned, Lilia wraps his arms in bandages coated in ointment and he is told to rest for a few days. Kaito wants to repay Edmond and his family for letting him stay at their house, so convinces them to allow him to make them pizza for dinner. Due to the Margaritas he made yesterday, Kaito has now levelled up to Pizza Skill 2, which grants him new equipment (peel and brush for cleaning), new ingredients (garlic) and new recipes (Marinara). As he is still too sore, Lilia cleans the oven, but her inexperience causes a bit of a mess. His item bag has also replenished all the ingredients he used yesterday, so he decides to make a Marinara pizza and triggers Lilia's hunger with its history. Lilia is so hungry, that she tries to eat entire bulb of unpeeled, raw garlic and Kaito has to grab her hand to stop her, which it does as Lilia is incredibly bashful after being touched by her beloved.
The Marinaras are a success and after eating, Kaito looks around the dining room and notices a ring of dried blue and white flowers. Edmond explains that the ring was a crown of flowers he made for his wife that she wore on their wedding day. The flowers in question are bluebells and whitebells, which only grow on mountain cliffs. Kaito isn't too enthused about this elven tradition, so is non-committal to it and finds something else to talk about. He spots an iridescent shield-like object which Edmond explains that is a dragon scale that is something of a family heirloom. Kaito asks about dragons and finds out that there is one local to the elves, but only threatens livestock and fields. Kaito asks about dragon meat and is told that it either grants immortality or poisonous enough that a mouthful can kill an entire village.

The next day, Kaito notices that they are low on wood, so Lilia arranges for Hans, the woodcutter to bring some. Hans arrives and expresses his gratitude for meeting Kaito too much that he falls backwards on top of the wood he was carrying and crushes some logs under his weight. Hans profusely apologises, with Kaito assuring that it is no problem so Hans talks about how grateful the elves are for Kaito choosing to come to their world, which gives Kaito a guilty conscience as the truth is th complete opposite. All this talking has made Hans hungry, so whips out a jar of honey and begins eating out of it (with a spoon of course, he isn't a savage). Hans is addicted to honey and eat so much of the stuff that he is fat (I'd assumed at some point he would've vomited most of it out, as honey can be quite sickly if you have too much). Hans volunteers to make a sign, so he and Lilia brainstorm ideas at Kaito's direction. Unfortunately, their names are so bad that Kaito decides come with himself, but his initial ideas are so cringe that he doesn't dare speak them into existence, so goes for the simple "The Hero's Pizza Parlor". The other 2 love it, so Hans begins carving it, but he has a few too many close calls with his chisel that Kaito demands to take over and forces him just to eat honey as 'motivation'. Kaito finishes the sign and rewards everyone with a margherita pizza each, which Hans decides drown his pizza in honey.

Kaito is cleaning the oven when Lilia burst in announcing that they have an order. Their first customer is Belinda, the royal tutor at the castle. She wants the 2 pizzas that he can make, but 2 pizzas is too much for a woman (according to Lilia) so he decides to have 1 half of the pizza a margherita and the other a marinara. The pizza is made and the 2 head to Belinda's home (using Edmond's carriage as transport) where upon arrival, they are offered cookies and tea of which Kaito can only enjoy one - the tea. Belinda eats the pizza and enjoys the 2 flavours, giving unique descriptions regarding their flavour. Kaito's eyes wanders and notices the books on Belinda's shelves, which Belinda notices. Kaito comments that she must be an avid reader and Belinda reveals that such books are available from the Great Market that happens once a month. Belinda then asks for Kaito strategy to save this world, to which Kaito confesses he can't do much except make pizza and hopes to make everyone happy with said pizza. Belinda still believes that Kaito will still change the world, if more slowly and more subtly then she first thought.Kaito asks if she would like to see anything on the menu and Belinda suggests something sweet. She pays for the pizza and they leave with Lilia jealous of how Belinda and Kaito got on with each other and only cheers up when Kaito promises her pizza when they return home.

Over breakfast, Edmond informs Kaito of rumours that Queen Eleonora doesn't like pizza as well as reminding that Lilia's friends are coming over. Edmond also reminds him that while he may be the most eligible suitor in the land, he is betrothed to Lilia and mustn't let his eyes and mind wander: especially towards the friends of your fiancee. Kaito assures him that will never happen.
Lilia's friends (Alisha, Elizabeth, Charlotte) arrive and Alisha has brought some vegetables and mushrooms, which Kaito takes to use in the pizzas he is making for them. He comes back with the cooked pizzas, arranging the food that Alisha brought so it now resembles a flower on the pizza. Everyone enjoys their pizza, so the conversation turns to the news of the restaurant opening, with Kaito revealing the delivery cost (1 silver coin). Kaito moves the conversation towards the Queen, who all the girls admire and is relieved to know that despite its small size, it is under no threat to be conquered by any nearby nation due to its insignificance (no longer regretting being the High-Calorie Hero). The topic of conversation turns to Kaito's and Lilia's relationship, which Kaito takes as his cue to leave.

On a separate day, as Kaito is cleaning out his oven, Edmond bursts in with terrible news: there is a messenger from the palace who wants a pizza to be brought secretly to the palace. Kaito goes outside and meets the messenger who further explains that the government is disturbed by his pizza revolution and require and investigation into it, so Kaito must prepare a pizza and bring it to the palace (don't worry, he's getting paid). Kaito decides to make a margherita and once it is done he hops in the royal carriage prepared for him and set off for the palace. Lilia spots Kaito getting in a mysterious carriage and chases after it, but cannot keep up with it. Kaito is escorted into the palace via a secret entrance, has the pizza he made confiscated and left in a small, windowless room that only has a candle for illumination. The candle is incredibly feeble, as one sigh from Kaito is enough to extinguish it and in the confusion of being placed in pitch-black darkness, Kaito escapes. Kaito begins to wander around to find his escort, only to stumble onto Eleonora eating his pizza. Eleonora is not impressed with the vulgar food that is pizza (lie) and is considering putting restrictions on such food, so Kaito accepts the will of the head of the nation like a good citizen and promises never bring pizza to palace again. Eleonora changes her mind and orders some more pizza for tomorrow (1 margherita and 1 marinara), but still refuses to verbally admit that she likes pizza. Kaito is paid and returns home, much to the delight of Lilia.

Over dinner, Edmond tells Kaito that the Great Market is tomorrow and Kaito wants to sell pizza there but is concerned that he doesn't have the correct permits, but Edmond promises to sort everything out. The next day, Kaito has an area where he can sell pizzas, so he and Lilia sell pizza slices at the price of 2 copper coins per slice. They sell out pretty quickly, owing to the fact they only brought 32 slices (4 pizzas cut into 8 slices) so decide to explore the market to buy ingredients and a present for Lilia using their profits. Lilia rushes off like an excited dog and is distracted some cotton candy which Kaito buys her as it is only 1 copper coin. They arrive at the stall she wished to visit and Lilia picks out a strawberry-shaped hairpin, which Kaito pays for. They head over to the food stalls and start looking around, or in the case of Lilia eating around, so Kaito has to spend some of the profits paying for Lilia's misdeeds. They soon spot an entire Kraken for sale, but with a price tag 1000 gold coins (1 gold coin = 10 silver coins) Kaito gives up on buying such an item. Just as they are about to move on, a small crowd behind them gathers around a girl who has collapsed so Kaito, ever the good samaritan, rushes over to help, much to the jealousy of Lilia. Before Kaito can do anything about anything, the girl's father appears and wishes to thank Kaito (and Lilia, the pronoun 'you' is used which can refer to 1 person or multiple people - thanks English language!) for assisting his daughter (who has come round) and requests that he/they follow him to his room at a nearby inn.

The inn in which Kaito and Lilia are escorted to is the nicest in the village (source: Lilia). Sasha’s father places his daughter on her bed in her room and introduces himself as Aaron. Aaron wishes to thank Kaito: A: for saving his daughter and B: he suspects that Kaito is the hero, which he confirms. Aaron wants to give Kaito a gift, so Kaito asks for some kraken with which he can make a pizza for Aaron and Sasha. Aaron is overwhelmed by Kaito’s genius (it is known to generate its own gravity) and quickly gets a kraken tentacle along with some kraken ink for Kaito.
Kaito uses the ink in the tomato sauce and tops the pizzas (he is making 2 as he and Lilia are also eating this creation) with kraken tentacle but doesn’t include any cheese to prioritise the flavours of the kraken. Once the pizzas are done, he takes them back to Aaron and Sasha, the latter is well enough to sit up. The pizza is loved by all and revitalises Sasha enough that she can thank Kaito with a hug, much to Lilia’s annoyance. Aaron asks about the current situation regarding Kaito’s restaurant and once Kaito explains said situation, he decides to invest money in Kaito so he can fund the building of a permanent restaurant. In exchange, Aaron’s orders are to be given priority and the first international stop for the business is his home country. Kaito agrees to such demands and they express their goodbyes, with Sasha kissing Kaito on the cheek as her form of expression. Kaito appreciates Sasha, but Lilia doesn’t appreciate his appreciation, so hits him with a peel despite his attempts to get her to stop.

New premises aren’t the only thing that Kaito is getting, he has also received the recipe for apple pie from his item bag. He has the ingredients to make the pie crust, but not the filling although Lilia points out that her friend Elizabeth has an orchard from which they can pick apples from. Kaito makes the dough for the pie crust before Hans makes his presence known, as he had initially come to visit to congratulate Kaito on the commission of a new store, but now wants some apple pie and is willing to help pick the apples. Kaito allows him to join - what could possibly go wrong?
They arrive at the orchard and begin picking the apples, but trouble occurs once they stop for a break. Hans gets a jar of honey out to eat from only for him to lose his balance while trying open it and fall onto the apples they all had just harvested, crushing them. After Hans apologises profusely, Kaito sets him to guard their harvest from anything that may wish to eat it while he and Lilia will continue picking. Whilst picking the apples, Kaito notices that the apples he is harvesting are disappearing and the culprit is Lilia. Kaito reassigns Lilia to guard duty and once he is done harvesting, he carries the apples back, invoking the word ‘hero’ to get the others not to assist. The apple pie is made and is served out between Kaito, Lilia and Hans, who all enjoy the pie and especially after adding some honey.

Kaito has baked an apple pie to deal with unexpected orders, but leaves it alone after he hears a noise in the garden. He assumes it is Hans stalking him again, but sees no evidence of him. When he returns to the kitchen, the apple pie he has made is missing. He initially suspects Lilia, but she is currently out at her sewing class. Edmond suddenly enters quickly followed by Fiona, his wife. Fiona is accusing him flirting with another woman at the bar last night. Edmond denies this, but Fiona brings in Hans who testifies against Edmond. Edmond and Fiona leave with Hans’s reward being anything from Kaito’s restaurant and the bill to be charged to Edmond’s tab. Hans wants some apple pie but Kaito tells him the bad news. Hans informs him that no one entered the house through the main entrance as he has been watching it all morning- so Kaito was right earlier! As the thief entered through the back door, Kaito heads to that entrance and on the ground spots some pie crumbs. He follows the trail which leads him to Lilia’s bedroom, who is finishing the the last slice.

Kaito has been summoned to the palace for reasons unknown to him. Once he has arrived, he is escorted to a private room with Queen Eleonora who is mad at him. Much to Eleonora’s annoyance, Kaito is not aware of his crimes, which after much humiliation, she reveals that he has failed to tell her about his new menu item: apple pie. Kaito would have told her, if she had ordered in the previous 5 days because that is how long apple pie has been on the menu (at least anyway, the passage of time is not clear in this series, as most chapters takes place over 1 day, but the gaps between are not clear). Eleonora wants to have some but Kaito can’t fulfil that request as he has run out for the day, so will bring some tomorrow.

While inspecting the cards in his item bag, Kaito has got a card for a bonus item: cola. All Kaito needs to do to get cola, is to make a pizza using local (to this world) ingredients. He asks Lilia for some advice, but she provides ingredients already in use, so they head outside to find some inspiration. All of the local produce are too boring for Kaito’s tastes, so they venture to outskirts of a nearby forest. There, Kaito spots a Thunderbird and wants to use it and its eggs in a pizza, but struggles to get the eggs. Lilia heads back home and returns with a bow and arrows and cleanly takes out the Thunderbird and take it home to be used in the pizza (they leave the now-orphaned eggs). Lilia butchers the Thunderbird and Kaito uses the prepared meat to create a delicious pizza that gets them the cola that Kaito so desperately wanted.

The construction of Kaito's new restaurant is going on smoothly (it's being built next door to Edmond's house), but he unsure what to do about Lilia. The 2 are betrothed to each other (not that he has had any say) and he enjoys her company, but her moving in with him is proxy for being married and Kaito is unsure if he is ready. Such worries, however, are immediately made irrelevant as Lilia burst in saying Hans has been hurt after an encounter with a dragon. The 2 rush over with a freshly baked apple pie, only to arrive to a Hans with a few scrapes he picked up after fleeing from the dragon. Given that the dragon is still at large and a threat to the village (although the it can be driven off by the use of loud sounds, e.g: banging on a pot), Kaito decides ask to Eleonora for help despite protestations from Lilia, who believes she could handle the dragon, but Kaito doesn't want to put her in danger. They arrive at the palace and Eleonora promises to send 2 soldiers to deal with it, but Lilia leaves early. Concerned, Kaito returns home, only not to find her but instead is told by Fiona that she went out with her bow. Realising that she has gone off to deal with the dragon, Kaito rushes to the forest to stop her and when he realises he has no idea where he is inside a dragon-infested forest. Lilia appears from a hiding spot and the shock of seeing Kaito means she almost end the life of her beloved. Kaito brings her close and confesses his feelings that he has now realised and asks Lilia to marry him. She says yes.

They head back to the village, where they are informed that dragon has headed to Hans's house, so Kaito asks Lilia to return home and be prepared to evacuate with her family. Lilia disagrees and wishes to stay, as it is a wife's duty to stay by her husband's side and protect him and Kaito relents, working the principle that she is better equipped to fight a dragon than he is. They arrive at Hans's house and see the dragon outside, and ask to soldiers to drive the dragon away but unfortunately, their spears are too flimsy to deal any real damage and the sound of everyone banging pots is not enough to cause the dragon to flee. Hans spots Kaito and makes his presence known through an open window only for the dragon to take notice of him, so he throws a jar of honey at the dragon, with jar bouncing of the dragon's snout breaking on the ground below. The dragon begins to eat the honey and along with its belly rumbling, informs Kaito that the dragon is hungry and he rushes back to his restaurant to make it some pizza. After 20 pizza, the dragon is full enough to leave and Kaito celebrated as a hero.
The next day, the dragon returns with a golden sword to pay for some pizza.

I have mixed opinions about this series, as I would have liked for there to be more volumes of this, not because it is some great work, but to flesh out romance between Kaito and Lilia: give the two more chances for Kaito to fall in love rather than he to suddenly realise his feelings at the end of chapter 16. For the majority of the series, Kaito and Lilia's relationship is that of something closer towards an energetic dog and its owner and while I am sure many dog owners love their dogs, I highly doubt they want to marry them. Hans is a character who is ruined by his stalking of Kaito and failure to read the room and is only there to be the funny man to Kaito's straight man (comedy routine, common in Japanese comedy, where the funny man says something outrageous and the straight man reacts seriously) which is also another way to describe Lilia and Kaito's relationship. The other supporting characters could have also benefitted from volumes to flesh them out and more volumes would have allowed the series to lean more into the pizza-making side as the unique pizza variations we see is only 6, of which 3 are one-time only creations. I think I would give the series a 6/10, as it is okay, but needs more time as it feels abruptly rushed.
Cover of The Hero and His Elf Bride Open a Pizza Parlor in Another World